Musings of a Mastermind
Dearly beloved Masterminds and the Prospects who I apparently ALSO have to include in this,
PURELY out of the very goodness of my heart and soul...and not because I am yet again the victim of draconian punishment by SADISTIC SUIT-WEARING STIFFS who should REALLY learn to let things go for their OWN good...I am here to offer you some bonafide--
That’s right! Free of charge, below is my sage advice for navigating the treacherous waters of the Jinx League with style--like yours, truly. It’s just you, me, and this screen, pally! So BUCKLE UP -- it’s showtime!
The world of competitive espionage is fast-paced, so you’d better be ready to be even FASTER! Timing is everything! (source: my barren love life, due to my lack of aforementioned timing...)
Master the art of quick decision-making, uncover the speediest strategies for completing Objectives, and you can DOMINATE the competition and claim your rightful victory!
In the throes of electrifying combat and psychological warfare, it’s easy to want to throw caution to the wind. Well, if you do that while failing to manage your Energy Meter, your efforts will be all for naught!
As my friend Ikey Newts said, it takes Energy to do everything--including swapping between Agents and Revealing Rooms on a Mission--so be mindful of your Energy Meter!
Look, I get it. You’ve got Artifacts to steal, Vaults to raid, and Opponents to annihilate. But what’s life if you don’t stop to smell the roses?? Or, in your case, stop to smell the Objective Bar at the top of your screen before and during your next Mission?
No two Missions are alike, so always check the Objective to make sure your focus is in the right place.
According to some pamphlet I found in a shrubbery, Gadgets can make or break a Mission! You can choose and equip the perfect weapons for all your Mastermind-related needs in the Tech Room, or snag them during Missions! Just don’t use gadgets beyond their intended, infiltration purposes...trust me.
The best offense is a good defense! (Or so it has been explained to me. I cannot sportsball.)
Once you’ve got your first Hideout just the way you like it, put it to the test by trying to infiltrate it yourself! It’s the perfect way to make sure your layout and defenses are up to snuff.
Why work harder, when you could work smarter? Or, not at all! Chests are a great way to get XP, Items, Agent Tokens, and Battlepass Progression! The bonuses reset daily, and increase in tier with your Jinx Score.
Any Mastermind worth their Jinx knows that the more Objectives you complete during a Mission, the more rare the Artifacts you can steal will be! #JustMastermindThings
I can already SEE the incessant inquiries piling on top of my copious cornucopia of complementary correspondence (or “fan mail”)...“but VINCENT! How do I find these rare Artifacts so that I may have the dopest Hideout to put all my Mastermind friends to shame?!” It’s simple! Using Search will show you the rarity and Jinx value of an Artifact--but beyond the aesthetic benefits they will provide any room in your Hideout, a perfectly-placed Artifact will boost your Defenses’ power, grow your Hideout, and raise your Jinx score!
So, GO ON! Steal to your heart’s content! Just keep in mind that you only get to keep an Artifact if you actually WIN a Mission. Lose, and it’s returned to its base…leaving you nothing but a Jinx League Jet flight of shame back to your base to reflect upon all of your shortcomings. (Again: timing is everything. Also: life is cruel. And: nothing is real. Those last two are for YOU, Prospects!)
To find Missions and Challenges that will rack up your Jinx score and help you build the prestige you deserve, check your Daily Missions and Agent Challenges! The League posts new Missions daily--so get to gettin’, Masterminds!
Even if the League doesn't make it an Objective during a Mission--never pass up a chance to grab that MacGuffin!! It’s CRUCIAL to the...I mean, if you snag it you’ll...uh...well, I’ll be honest. No one really knows what a MacGuffin does. But, it’s bragging rights! So, take it anyways!
League R&D is constantly coming up with new items, and makes them available for all Masterminds. Fancy a new emote? How about a new Hideout? The League Store’s got everything you want and need! (...unless you’re looking for unconditional companionship and understanding. That apparently is on backorder. Speaking of which…)
At the end of the day, mes petits choux, just stay sharp and you’ll soon be showered with all the riches, glory, and fame a Mastermind could desire! (And for you Prospects out there….just...I don’t know. Do whatever it is you do--tune your harmonica, polish your unicycle, collect your vintage Depression-era glassware--somewhere far from me. Prospects are meant to be neither seen, nor heard, nor smelt.)
Ever Yours (so long as you’re a Mastermind),
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